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Winning an FWA is incredible. I'll crawl out of bed and Martin will be in the living room wearing only a smile. I'll say "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" and he'll just be smiling, all bald. That's when I throw down a bubble machine and we start dancing. Everyone is having a blast.
- Martin: I have long been dead. My lifeless body sits in front of a dusty computer, Outlook still open and my mummified finger poised on F5. - Jordan: I still go Tools > Send and Receive > Send and Receive All
- Martin: We're working about 20 hrs a week at the moment. It's very hard to motivate yourself when you're naturally lazy. - Jordan: Now keep in mind this is 20 hours combined. That works out to about 2 hours a day, a piece.
- Martin: I never really wind, so there's not much to unwind. I spend my days watching daytime TV and meeting Jordan on the PS3...but even that can sometimes take a lot of effort and we both give up. - Jordan: Core Rhythms.
- Martin: Yeah, the end of it. I really didn’t think it would end like this. I always thought one of us would die in a charming noble manner, instead we just kind of fizzled out. We’ll probably make a come back in 2030, shaking our tambourines and miming to a collection of our greatest sites. - Jordan: It is a long boring road into hell.
- Martin: We should say Adobe AIR here because that’s what were working with at the moment. So yes, this is a really good question, I guess I would say Adobe AIR. That’s Adobe AIR. - Jordan: Ha ha ha.
- Martin: Most of the time, none. It's like a mime juggle, there's nothing passing between our hands, but it doesn’t matter as there's no audience anyway. - Jordan: Can we count training with our Warhawk clan? We are Th3 Wid0wmak3rs and if you ever see us on the battlefield, say your prayers. We're the black guys.
- Martin: Yes, Julian Velard’s site. Not sure who made it but that site has changed the way people use the internet, in a really bad way. Somedays I almost bring myself to run through it from start to finish and then play all the Directors Notes, but then I think how lazy I am and decide against it. - Jordan: My Hot Ethnic Secretary.
- Jordan: Winning an FWA is incredible. I'll crawl out of bed and Martin will be in the living room wearing only a smile. I'll say "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" and he'll just be smiling, all bald. That's when I throw down a bubble machine and we start dancing. Everyone is having a blast. - Martin: I’d like for us to get in to the elite group of FWA winners and have our name up in the Hall of Fame. How do we do that? Does it involve making more sites? If so, forget it.
- Jordan: We just do our thing and it is what it is. If people respond to that, great. - Martin: I think the key is to try and make the client believe that our ideas..are really their ideas, then we congratulate them on having such creative minds. It usually doesn’t work that way though and they guide us into a great chasm of poo, then they stand up above at the mouth of the chasm and throw massive rocks of fail at us. Each one hitting us directly on the forehead.
- Jordan: I think in 10 years people might start having the internet IN THEIR LIVING ROOM (on giant, flat televisions) and maybe even on their phones? (which will have touch screens by then). - Martin: Hahahah! He’s been saying that for 5 years! Not a chance.
- Jordan: That's like Sophie's choice, except me and Martin are like Brad and Angelina. Little black ones, little yellow ones with novelty mohawks, you name it, we love them all and cannot choose. - Martin: Yeah, that’s an impossible choice. In a way I’d like to say Tim Hortons, because it never got launched due to client difficulties and remains to this day, hidden in a rusty old garage. I’d like to think that one day in the future someone will discover it under a dust sheet, and tell the world of its greatness.
- Jordan: Who on earth would want to watch a television show on web design and development? - Martin: I’d watch it if it was like a fly-on-the-wall documentary of a real studio, kind of like a real life Nathan Barley. I’d be glued to that, it’d make fantastic viewing.
- Jordan: Ha ha ha. - Martin: What he said.
- Jordan: Look to the assholes of the world for innovation. I mean, christ, they're still sitting on the same chairs from the 30s and 50s in the poncey parts of the world. - Martin: Yeah, I think innovation comes more from God rather than a specific continent. Am I allowed to say that?
- Jordan: We just look for high pay and as much distance as possible between us and the maggot (i.e. the client). - Martin: Morrissey. It’s always been about Morrissey, each one of our sites has been a visual cry out to him, to catch his attention. It doesn’t seem to have worked.
- Jordan: we don't have employees. - Martin: Yeah, we don’t employ anyone, that way we don’t have to sack anyone. We’d be terrible at sacking people, I think we’d probably feel too bad and just sack ourselves instead, leaving the poor cretin holding the Wefail baby.
- Jordan: In my experience Flash gets a little worse with each build. - Martin: We keep well away from the latest capabilities. The latest capabilities mean bugs, tears, and misery. We like to keep our finger firmly off the pulse.
- Jordan: A coffin. - Martin: Morrissey.
- Jordan: Ha ha ha. - Martin: Hahaha! Really, you do not want to see. Imagine the basement in Silence of the Lambs, now imagine Jordan and I making manginas and dancing to one another whilst Mott the Hoople blasts out. Welcome to our studio.
- Jordan: If we can continue to not have real jobs because of this, then that's more than enough for me. - Martin: Ideally the future holds a new car, so if any potential clients are reading this…..please, come forward and make yourself known. I’ve got my eye on Auto Trader and I dearly need your help.
- Jordan and Martin: Ah, gits weary An' sick of tryin' Ah'm tired of livin' An' skeered of dyin', But ol' man river, He jes'keeps rollin' along Links   Our old favourite 'staff pic'    |
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