.

Also new clients are like girls you like... if you call them they probably won’t answer the phone, return your phone calls or reply to the huge number of TXTs you have sent them.

Please give us a brief bio of yourself.

First interactive experience - throwing bottle at the bedroom wall from my bassinette to notify my parents of the absence of milk contained within.

Life – mostly filler stuff like degrees, hot dogs, Doctorates, jobs, girlfriends, music, babes.

Last interactive experience – throwing my empty bottle at the Creative Director because the beer fridge is empty.

What do you do for inspiration?

Hang out with my friends in turtle neck jumpers and argue about really intellectual things like Twitter. Creative thought pattern – is it edible? does someone own this? what the hell am I doing?

Please list 3 of your favourite sites.

Since I don’t have a telescope in my apartment I enjoy the voyeuristic power that the Internet provides... probably evident in my selection of websites.

http://www.scanwich.com

Food voyeurism at its best.

http://www.flickr.com

Love checking out tourist’s ego photos of “I’ve been here, bet you haven’t?”.

http://translate.google.com

I have this game I play with myself where I translate sentences through multiple different languages and then back into English. This provides a way for me to foresee if artificial intelligence is ever getting the better of us. When the sentence comes back identical to the one I started on Google Translate with then I know the end is near.

What do you regard as being your biggest achievement?

Having a maximum of 7mins to talk to 500 people about taking New Zealand creativity to the World and finishing in a lightning time of 7mins 52s. Some would look at this as a huge fail but I look at this as a minor fail. Still achieving when you are failing is important.

What software could you not live without?

The one that operates the signalling of the traffic lights on the walk to work. Without this I may be run over as often I forget to wear my high visibility reflective vest.

What projects do you have in the pipeline?

Working on new 4D for Adobe Flash. Probably have the washers in the kitchen sink taps replaced sometime in the next few months too.

Who do you rate as being the top 3 design companies?

This is sort of like telling everyone which three of your friends you would sleep with... they would get all embarrassed that I like them and then they’d all be competing with each other to sleep with me. I would probably have to file more restraining orders. And then you would know who we copy as well.

What effect on traffic do your new designs have?

I was in this traffic jam yesterday... I guess it was probably caused by people checking out the ‘About’ section of the Resn website. So yes, we probably do affect the whole World all of the time.

Who is your target audience?

People who aren’t offended.

What area of web design lacks the most?

Web designers sex appeal. We need more babes in web design. Web design should be like back stage at a fashion show... full of people in their underwear calling each other “babe” and telling each other, “You look hot and skinny, very cool.”

What did your very first site look like? Is it still online?

My first one got pulled down by the New Zealand communist government about 3 minutes after it went live. They probably shredded it.

Have you written any books, if not do you plan to?

I’ve had book offers from publishers but have never taken up the offers. I thought they might just use my name to sell them but they said I actually had to write the books. Like ‘CAPTCHA In The Rye’ – Creative Direction by Andy Williams, Produced by J.D. Salinger.

What was the toughest thing you ever did with Flash? How long did you spend on it? Is it still online?

What is Flash?

Do you think Flash is here to stay?

Still not sure what you are talking about???

What are your views on design/graphic school. Do you think someone can get into the field without educational experience in a school environment?

Any school is a waste of time. I never went to school, never learnt to read or write and I turned out just fine. I home school all my children while I work every day and they never have phoned me once asking questions.

When your company was just getting started, what did you find was most effective for getting new clients?

Sitting down with them and explaining complex project management solutions and incorporating buzz words like ‘critical-path’, ‘agile’, ‘scrum’, ‘process’, ‘project’, ‘cash’, ‘website’ and ‘totally sweet’.

How have you learned so many Flash/design skills and techniques and can you offer any advice for newbies?

Change your name from ‘newbie’ because everyone in computer gaming land gets called ‘newbie’ and they are always the worst and everyone always picks on them with their best weapons.

What is the most expensive thing you have bought in the last week?

Probably not allowed to say “hookers” but otherwise it would be my gourmet sandwich for lunch today.

What type of overcoat do you wear when Flashing, basically are you a labels man?

I like to have as few identifying items on myself as possible when I flash.

Any parting shots or pearls of wisdom?

55378008 looks like the word BOOBLESS if you turn your monitor upside down and enter it into your computer calculator.

Also new clients are like girls you like... if you call them they probably won’t answer the phone, return your phone calls or reply to the huge number of TXTs you have sent them. It is best to just wait outside their house at night in the case they bump into you by accident.

It has been a privilege, thanks very much.

No no no. Thank you.


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